Memo to all Employees:


In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTESITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be place in DEPARMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add you name to our BASIC UNDERSTAND LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T) For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T. If you have further question, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)